inuit mom

Mothers, BIG and small

You can run but you can’t hide from the second Sunday in May. Marketing and social pressure are locked and focused on MOTHER. Acknowledging mothers is a no-brainer and yet there is something about Mother’s Day that makes many of us squirm. Before my mom passed, I dreaded the task of finding a Mother’s Day card.  My mom did not fit the greeting card mold yet she could easily tick off many of the boxes under the demanding job description for “Mother”.

Of course, now we live in a world of choices. Some women opt out of the motherhood role. Other woman have the choice made for them. So when I think about mothers, I think about “Big M” Mothers and “small m” mothers.

Big M mothers are biological. We all started with one but beyond the moment of birth, our experiences expand uniquely in all directions. The influence, protection and love that traditionally flows from a Mother can also come from many “small m” mothers.

We expect a lot from Mothers:  produce the baby and through physical, emotional and spiritual sacrifice, nurture us to the point where we are capable of standing upright in our community.  Thankfully, Mothers are not expected to shoulder the responsibility alone.The woman who taught us to say “please” or held our hand as we first picked up a pencil could have been another woman who nurtured our upbringing.
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Take some time to reach out to the teachers, neighbours, coaches, and other woman that have also contributed to your mothering. Personally written words of appreciation are a beautiful gift, any time, not just on Mother’s Day.

Yes, Mother, I can see you are flawed.  You have not hidden it.  That is your greatest gift to me. Alice Walker

Photo: Robert Flaherty. Portrait of Mother and Child, Ungava Peninsula, 1910-12.
Gelatin silver print. Public Archives of Canada, Ottawa

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